


I'll lose my mind at least another thousand times.

by Rats_As_Models



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: 1 sentence each, Alot of swearing, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad people use bad words >:(, DADZA'S A TAG NOW! WOO!, Dadza, Dave | Technoblade and Wilbur Soot and TommyInnit are Siblings, Dave | Technoblade-centric, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, HOW IS DADZA NOT A TAG, Hurt/Comfort, Hybrid Technoblade, Hybrids, I am starved of soft techno so i feed myself, I do not have an essay i need to be working on, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kinda, Minecraft In Real Life, Minor Injuries, Minor Violence, Panic Attacks, Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Phil helps tho, Sad Dave | Technoblade, Some Swearing, Techno has a panic attack, This man needs help, and no, briefly, for like - Freeform, nothing too descriptive, ok, piglin hybrid techno, piglin techno, take care of yourselves, this is a disgrace, wilbur and tommy are mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:54:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27808669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rats_As_Models/pseuds/Rats_As_Models
Summary: "Shut up, you bloodthirsty freak. All you know is how to kill. Your a monster, and everyone knows it."And that's how Techno ended up here, on the roof of Phil's home.The cold air stung his lungs as he tried to gulp it down like a fish out of water. It didn't matter how much it hurt, he just needed air, he needed air, please, his lungs are collapsing, he cant breathe-
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade & Phil Watson, Dave | Technoblade & TommyInnit(Mentioned), Dave | Technoblade & Wilbur Soot(Mentioned), No Romantic Relationship(s), They are family!, ya nasties - Relationship
Comments: 12
Kudos: 559





	I'll lose my mind at least another thousand times.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from 'Devil Town' By Cavetown!

_"Shut up, you bloodthirsty freak. All you know is how to kill. Your a monster, and everyone knows it."_  
  
And that's how Techno ended up here, on the roof of Phil's home.   
  
He didn't mean to come here, he really didn't. But one moment he was running, his chest constricting painfully. The next moment he was here, sobbing into the cold night air. The moon gleamed softly at him, bathing his tusks in it's glow. His breath came out in short, heavy puffs. His body seemed to constrict on itself, his blood curdling. The cold air stung his lungs as he tried to gulp it down like a fish out of water. It didn't matter how much it hurt, he just needed air, he needed air, please, _his lungs are collapsing, he cant breathe-_

He shook violently, curling in on himself. His hooves scraped against the roof, but he couldn't bring himself to care. His ears tucked flat against his head, nearly buried in the ratty pink hair. Tears blurred his vision, but that was no good, he couldn't see, he can't fight if he can't see, and if he cant fight he cant live. That's how it always was, how it always has been.  
  
His mind, piece of shit, started to tune into the past conversation that lead to this mess.

* * *

_"Awww, look, it's the Mighty Technoblade." The man sneered, hands on his hips. Techno looked at him with a blank expression, tail twitching somewhat.  
"What, not gonna say hi? How rude." He pouted, stepping closer. Techno made no movement, just glared. The man didn't seem deterred.   
  
A sly grin slotted onto the mans face, filling Techno with a strange feeling of dread. He took a slight step back, his hoof clicking against the concrete.  
"Blade, bloodthirsty Blade, I have some Words to say to you!"   
"Your speaking words right now." He replied blandly, hoping to quell the rapidly growing pace of his heart.  
  
The man's face contorted into rage, and his hand slammed into the wall, beside Technoblade's head. Fuck, when had he gotten that close to the wall?  
"Ohoho, we have a funny man here! A real fuckin jokester!" The man all but _snarled _the words, making his instincts scream. To run, to fight, to spill this man's blood and watch it flow between the cracks like water.  
  
He let out a low warning growl, earning a cackle from the stranger. "Oh boy, you think you scare me! News flash, buddy!" A searing pain in his throat. He gagged for a second, his tail thrashing.   
  
The man grasped his chin, sneering. "Your so fuckin high and mighty, huh? You and your 'Blood God' Bullshit. But that's just a cover up, eh? To cover the _real _monster. You pin it all on this Blood God dude, but have you ever considered, your the fuck-up? Huh?"  
  
He growled again, glaring at the man. He instinctively reached a hand for the sword on his belt, reminding himself it was there. "It's not all me-"  
"Shut up, you bloodthirsty freak. All you know is how to kill. Your a monster, and everyone knows it." The man growled, his eyes full of fury.   
" 'It's not all me' my ass. What are you gonna blame it on? Your piglin heritage? Please, get a fucking life.  
Your just a monster, and I'm sick of pretendin you aren't."  
  
He felt his chest start to constrict with the truth of it all. He really was a monster, wasn't he? He- He did it to protect himself, to protect his brothers! Didn't he? He always had a good reason. Always. Even when it was just him in a helpless village, his mind screaming at him to slaughter. So he did. He was merely satisfying his urges. It was natural, wasn't it?  
  
The look on the child's face as he ran their mother clean through with a diamond blade, as he took off their father's head with a single swing. Watching the ruby liquid stain his fur, his hooves._

_It... Was normal, wasn't it? He convinced himself it was. Now, here he stood, trying his best not to hyperventilate in front of a stranger. He felt a painful, choking sob form in his throat, but he had to shove it down. He couldn't let his emotions get the better of him. Not now, not ever. Not even when his heart was racing a mile per minute, his vision blurring, his chest constricting. Not even when he couldn't breathe. Wait, he couldn't breathe? He couldn't breathe! His throat tried desperately to swallow air, his ears pinned flat.  
  
_ _"Awww, He's crying! How cute. Gonna run to your family? To those fuckin brothers you have? Or did ya kill 'em already? Got tired of the lack of action, so ya slit their throats? Huh?" The man goaded him on, grinning as if Techno had just told him the funniest joke ever. His mind raced. He could practically see it. Tommy; mangled and broken, crimson seeping from every crack in the skin. Or Wilbur; His neck hanging at a funny angle, his limbs stretched unnaturally. He could see the fear, forever frozen in their eyes. The betrayal. And... half of him enjoyed it. Enjoyed the thought of the needless bloodshed.  
  
_ _He shoved the thought out of his mind, before it broke him more. Finally coming to his senses, he launched himself at the man. He shrieked in surprise as Techno forced his tusks into his shoulder. "AH- What the hell?! Get off me, Freak!" Techno shoved the man down, and ran. He ran as his legs ached, as the tears created warm tracks on his cheeks. His cloak billowed out behind him, his brain on autopilot. Somewhere safe, it cried. Home. Pack. Get to pack, get to home, get safe. Warm. Loved.  
_

* * *

His clawed hands drew up to his ears, pricking at them. His mind screamed at him, and he just wanted it to be quiet. _Shut up, shut up, shut up shut up shutupshutupshutup-_

"Techno, you alright?"  
  
He jumped out of his daze, hyperventilating. His ears twitched. Why didn't he notice sooner? Aether above, he was getting rusty. Someone might as well come up and kill him already, _it would take one more piece of shit out of the world-_  
  
"Tech, tech, calm down."  
  
Phil's voice broke him out of his daze. Why did his hands sting? Why was his head spinning?  
"Techno, focus on me. Can ya do that for me, mate?"   
He nodded shakily, though he didn't believe it. He looked at Phil.   
  
The man's wings were tucked against his back, his eyes soft and wide. His brow was furrowed slightly with worry as he crouched in front of Techno on the roof. He was missing his iconic bucket hat. The sight was comforting. Phil gave a soft smile, and his inner piglin preened at the sight of one of his pack happy.  
  
"Hey there buddy. Whatcha doin out here?"  
He didn't trust himself to speak, so he let out a weak grunt. He flinched internally.  
Phil nodded slowly, like Techno had spoken a full sentence. "Alright. It's obvious somethin went wrong, yeah?"  
  
He nodded softly, his tail twitching. Phil gently moved up beside him, tentatively putting an arm around him. Techno leaned in, still sobbing softly. Phil's hand rubbed small circles onto his back.   
"Alright, I'm gonna need ya to breathe real nice and slow for me, alright mate? Deep breaths."  
  
Techno grunted softly, and put all his effort into breathing slowly. His chest loosened, and the pain in his throat ebbed. The tears didn't fall as harshly now.  
"Yeah, that's it buddy. Your doin great." A wing wrapped around him, helping to block out the chill. He rumbled happily, sleep attempting to worm it's way into his limbs.  
  
"Do ya wanna talk about it?" Phil questioned softly. Techno whined, shaking his head. His nose filled with Phil's comforting scent; slight smoke, warm bread, and a hint of stone from the mine. It comforted Techno, lulling him farther into a warm, sleepy headspace. He felt Phil's soft chuckle, the smoothness of being pulled farther into his lap. "You just sleep now, mate. I'm right here, and I'll be here for as long as you need me. You deserve some rest."   
  
He grunted contentedly, tail swaying sluggishly. He had one thought, just before sleep wrapped its jaws around him.  
  
  
_It's nice to be loved._

**Author's Note:**

> AAAAAA Thank you for reading, If you made it this far! I've seen some hurt/comfort techno fics, but not nearly enough to satisfy my urge for soft techno. And i had this idea, and... I word vomited.
> 
> Comments are super appreciated! This is only my second work, but I'd love to do more! Also, seriously, HOW IS DADZA NOT A TAG?! ARGH-
> 
> I'm sorry if my word vomit wasn't to your liking, but i'd love it if you left constructive critisim in the comments! Writing is a small hobby, due to my overactive brain. But I seriously want to improve!
> 
> Anyways, Have a great day! Remember to eat food, drink water, take your meds, and get some sleep! Go outside and get some fresh air.
> 
> Stay safe, my peeps!


End file.
